MacMillan's 10-Step Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach:
A Comprehensive Framework
to support neurodivergents and their families throughout adulthood.
R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse Programs For Professionals
WHAT:
Anne MacMillan's cutting-edge R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory synthesizes research from renowned neuroscientists, psychologists, and developmental theorists into a practical 10-step approach that recognizes the wholeness of all neurodivergents. Our program provides the education, assessments, and resources necessary for your clients to take action, build skills, face challenges, and make informed decisions that promote happiness and connection. Level 1 autism in adults significantly impacts social relationships, and close family relationships and intimate life partnerships are among the most intense and important of all social relationships in life.
Today, more than ever before, neurodivergents and their family members are discovering their own neurodiversity and are seeking professional support so they can find the happiness they deserve. Over the last few decades, awareness of Level 1 autism in children exploded. Only now is the world coming to an awareness of the prevalence of Level 1 autism in adults. R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse supports adults.
Everything you need to support your clients is packaged together conveniently on the UnitusTI cloud-based platform: training, credentialing, client programming, quantitative assessments, support resources and more.
Anne MacMillan, MLA
Author of the 10-Step Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach, Speaker, Researcher, Consultant, Coach, Educator and Expert Witness
WHO:
Our comprehensive 10-step method is designed for use by psychologists, therapists, social workers, counselors, teachers, coaches, consultants, clergy, domestic violence workers, victim advocates and more.
Our credential will be awarded to individuals who have at least one of the following:
A minimum of a bachelor's degree from an accredited institution in a related field: psychology, social work, education, special education, human development, family studies, divinity, domestic violence, etc.
A post-baccalaureate or post-master's certificate from an accredited institution in a related field.
A minimum of a bachelor's degree in an unrelated field from an accredited institution AND at least 10 years of personal life experience with Level 1 autism in adulthood, either as an autistic or as a close family member or intimate life partner of an autistic. (10+ years of close friendship with Level 1 autistic adults is insufficient to meet this requirement.)
WHY:
Neurodiverse families are commonly made up of autistic, attention neurodivergent (ADHD), and other neurodivergent family members. The different brains' different ways of perceiving and navigating the social world affect family social interactions, eliciting difficulties and distress that commonly lead to trauma and isolation.
In the mid-20th century, before neurodivergence in adults was understood or recognized, psychologists began defining mental disorders that required treatment. Many neurodivergents, completely unaware that their brains were different, were unjustly labeled as "disordered" or "broken." These labels disempowered neurodivergents and treatments that didn't recognize brain differences offered little relevant support.
The high prevalence of autism in children was discovered in the early years of the 21st century. Today, we are finally recognizing multiple neurodivergencies in adulthood. These adults aren't "broken." They don't need "treatment" for "disorders." They need to understand the nuances of brain differences and have access to resources that will help them leverage their strengths and build skills to address their challenges.
The R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse programs offer solutions: solutions that work.
R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse
Resources & Education Across the Lifespan
HOW:
The R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse program leverages Anne MacMillan's comprehensive Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory and offers an easy-to-follow 10-step educational approach, punctuated by assessments and resources that support individuals in building skills and taking actions to improve quality of life and increase happiness.
All programming is conveniently housed in the UnitusTI cloud-based platform, offering clinics an easy way to manage training, credentialing, and data collection and storage.
Neurodiverse family members are confused as to why their different brains are eliciting so much relationship conflict and trauma. MacMillan provides answers that work. She defines empathy differences, Neurodiverse Relationship Dynamics (NRD), and explains how trauma happens in neurodiverse families. She offers descriptions of 14 roles common to neurodiverse families, as well as resources to help individuals sort through the functions those roles play in their own lives and their family systems. She explains 5 cycles common to neurodiverse family systems and their associations with trauma and abuse. Finally, MacMillan shares her two complementary models of psychosocial development, one for autistics and one for non-autistics.
The R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach builds on the research and theories of giants like Vittorio Gallese, Erik Erickson, Diana Baumrind, Jean Piaget, and Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi. Learners can follow links to multiple relevant research articles throughout the programming.
About Anne MacMillan:
I built my original Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory on my education, personal life experience, and the professional experience I gained in the private neurodiverse services practice I founded in 2017.
Today, my services extend to support other professionals who have come to the new realization that neurodiversity is at the heart of many of the relationship challenges their adult clients face. Professionals can earn my Neurodiverse Family Systems Educator Credential (NFS-E) then use my practical 10-Step educational system, including quantitative assessments and support resources, to help their clients comprehend their relationship challenges and find the happiness and peace they deserve.
I have a research-based master's in psychology from Harvard University and studied developmental psychology as an undergrad. I received the Director's Thesis Award at Harvard for my original research on Level 1 autism and intimate life partnerships -- some of the first quantitative research on the subject in the world.
Altogether, I have over 50 years of personal life experience with neurodiverse family systems, over 20 years of personal life experience with neurodiverse intimate life partnerships, and 8 years of professional experience working with individuals managing the challenges of neurodiverse family systems.
I self-identify as a high body empathetic neurodivergent who just might also be a bit attention neurodivergent (ADHD). I am not autistic.
Anne MacMillan, MLA
Author of the R.E.A.L. 10-Step Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach, Speaker, Researcher, Consultant, Coach, Educator and Expert Witness
Recent Blog Posts
Understanding Body Empathy: The Non-Autistic Sense Supporting Connection
To better understand ourselves and the ways in which all brains function, it is essential to explore concepts that influence Neurodiverse Relationship Dynamics (NRD) (MacMillan, 2025) and that affect neurodiverse family systems. One such concept is "body empathy" (MacMillan, 2025), a sense that plays a significant role in how many of us connect with others. Body empathy, a sense akin to taste, sound, touch, smell, and sight, is deeply rooted in non-autistics' nervous systems and helps them navigate the social world in ways that are often unconscious.
Body Empathy Requires Embodied Simulation and Interoception
There are two components to body empathy: 1) embodied simulation, and 2) interoception (MacMillan).
Embodied simulation can be understood as the ability to internally simulate the actions of others, allowing us to experience, in part, what another person is experiencing (Gallese, 2007). Embodied simulation is facilitated by what neuroscientists refer to as the "mirror neuron system." Embodied simulation allows us to observe someone else performing an action, whether it's a non-autistic or autistic individual, specific neurons in our brains fire as if we were performing the action ourselves. This mirroring process is not just limited to visual observation; it can also occur through auditory cues. For example, hearing the sound of someone running up and down the stairs can activate the neurons in our brain associated with that action, even if we are physically inactive at the time.
MacMillan (2025) hypothesizes that individuals have varying levels of embodied simulation and that, in general, non-autistics have higher levels of embodied simulation than autistics.
A future article will address interoception and its role in body empathy.
The Neuroscience Behind Embodied Simulation
The mirror neuron system is one of two fundamental components of body empathy, the other being interoception. Mirror neurons, which are distributed throughout our nervous system, enable us to create a mental simulation of another person's actions, giving us a visceral understanding of their experience. This internal simulation is not merely a cognitive function; it involves the entire body, as our whole-body nervous system is engaged in the process. This connection between the brain and the body underscores the embodied nature of body empathy, making it a holistic experience that transcends simple observation, cognitive processing or theory of mind.
Embodied Simulation and Social Connection
Embodied simulation provides us with an immediate and often unconscious connection to others. When we witness someone else's actions, whether through sight or sound, our mirror neuron system activates, allowing us to empathize with their physical experience. This connection is particularly significant in social interactions, where understanding the physical and emotional states of others can enhance communication and strengthen relationships. For non-autistic individuals, body empathy plays a crucial role in fostering social bonds, as it enables them to intuitively grasp the experiences of others.
Implications of Body Empathy for Neurodiverse Interactions
Understanding body empathy is not just about recognizing a fascinating neurological phenomenon; it has practical implications, especially in neurodiverse interactions. For non-autistic individuals, being aware of their body empathy can lead to a more nuanced understanding of how they connect with others, including those on the autism spectrum who may not experience body empathy in the same way. This awareness can bridge gaps in communication, fostering empathy that is informed and accurate, rather than based on assumptions that everyone perceives the world in the same way.
In conclusion, body empathy is a vital sense that connects us to the physical and emotional experiences of others. By understanding this sense, both autistics and non-autistics can better navigate our social world, improve our relationships, and approach neurodiverse interactions with a deeper sense of awareness.
Support for Professionals and Clients:
Neurodiverse Credentialing and Practice Support for Psychologists, Therapists, Social Workers, Clergy, and Domestic Violence workers is available here.
Autistic and non-autistic members of neurodiverse family systems can reach out for support here.
Resources for Further Exploration:
Read Anne MacMillan's 2025 book entitled Neurodiverse Family Systems: Theory and Practice, available for pre-order.
Read Vittorio Gallesse's 2007 article entitled "Before and Below 'Theory of Mind': Embodied Simulation and the Neural Correlates of Social Cognition" published by The Royal Society, 362(1480), doi:10.1098/rstb.2006.2002.
Anne MacMillan, MLA
Author of the R.E.A.L. 10-Step Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach Available on the UnitusTI Cloud
About MacMillan's Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory
Autistics and non-autistics perceive and navigate the social world differently. These differences create a phenomenon I term 'Neurodiverse Relationship Dynamics' (NRD).
Due to differences in neurological functioning, and at no fault of any family member, NRD contribute to perpetual cycles punctuated by emotional explosions called 'intermittent trauma spikes.'
Autistics and non-autistics also experience empathy differently, with autistics experiencing 'emotion-sharing empathy' and non-autistics experiencing 'body empathy.' Empathy differences as well as different levels of 'empathic-emotion intensity' and 'emotion-origin awareness' can contribute to the trauma experienced during intermittent trauma spikes.
Both non-autistics and autistics can engage in harmful narcissistic behaviors within neurodiverse family systems. Increasing awareness of NRD can support all family members in reducing the level of narcissistic behaviors and in responding to them appropriately.
Neurodiverse families are commonly made up of three primary types of neurodivergents: autistics, attention neurodivergents (ADHD), and high body empathetics. And, of course, sometimes other neurodivergents and true neurotypicals crop up in neurodiverse families as well. All members of neurodiverse families need and deserve support regardless of neurology.
The tendency for individuals to select intimate life partners that are familiar to them alongside the fact that neurodiversity has a genetic component means that individuals from neurodiverse families commonly have children with other individuals from neurodiverse families, passing neurodiversity from generation to generation and creating the phenomenon of neurotribes.
Individuals in neurodiverse families commonly take upon themselves particular roles associated with both individual and systemic functions within their neurodiverse family systems. These roles are facilitated by the different neurologies and are more intractable than roles in neurotypical families. Gaining awareness of the roles and their functions can support individuals in neurodiverse family systems as they make sense of the relationship confusion they are experiencing and then make decisions and take actions to improve their lives.
Most professional services are designed with neurotypicals from neurotypical families in mind, abandoning neurodivergents from neurodiverse families to inadequate supports that tend to be irrelevant to their actual family experience and the relationship challenges they face in their daily lives.
I believe the first step to overcoming all this confusion is to have a foundational understanding of empathy differences, Neurodiverse Relationship Dynamics (NRD), and the manner in which trauma and multigenerational behavioral patterns (facilitated by neurodiversity) affect neurodivergents within neurodiverse family systems.
My original Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory and my 10-Step Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach seek to fill this gap and to provide professionals and members of neurodiverse families the information they need so all individuals from neurodiverse families can find the happiness and peace they deserve.
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anne@REALneurodiverse.com
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