MacMillan's 10-Step Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach:

A Comprehensive Framework

to support neurodivergents and their families throughout adulthood.

R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse Programs For Professionals

WHAT:

Anne MacMillan's cutting-edge R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory synthesizes research from renowned neuroscientists, psychologists, and developmental theorists into a practical 10-step approach that recognizes the wholeness of all neurodivergents. Our program provides the education, assessments, and resources necessary for your clients to take action, build skills, face challenges, and make informed decisions that promote happiness and connection. Level 1 autism in adults significantly impacts social relationships, and close family relationships and intimate life partnerships are among the most intense and important of all social relationships in life.

Today, more than ever before, neurodivergents and their family members are discovering their own neurodiversity and are seeking professional support so they can find the happiness they deserve. Over the last few decades, awareness of Level 1 autism in children exploded. Only now is the world coming to an awareness of the prevalence of Level 1 autism in adults. R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse supports adults.

Everything you need to support your clients is packaged together conveniently on the UnitusTI cloud-based platform: training, credentialing, client programming, quantitative assessments, support resources and more.

Anne MacMillan, MLA

Author of the 10-Step Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach, Speaker, Researcher, Consultant, Coach, Educator and Expert Witness

WHO:

Our comprehensive 10-step method is designed for use by psychologists, therapists, social workers, counselors, teachers, coaches, consultants, clergy, domestic violence workers, victim advocates and more.

Our credential will be awarded to individuals who have at least one of the following:

  • A minimum of a bachelor's degree from an accredited institution in a related field: psychology, social work, education, special education, human development, family studies, divinity, domestic violence, etc.

  • A post-baccalaureate or post-master's certificate from an accredited institution in a related field.

  • A minimum of a bachelor's degree in an unrelated field from an accredited institution AND at least 10 years of personal life experience with Level 1 autism in adulthood, either as an autistic or as a close family member or intimate life partner of an autistic. (10+ years of close friendship with Level 1 autistic adults is insufficient to meet this requirement.)

WHY:

Neurodiverse families are commonly made up of autistic, attention neurodivergent (ADHD), and other neurodivergent family members. The different brains' different ways of perceiving and navigating the social world affect family social interactions, eliciting difficulties and distress that commonly lead to trauma and isolation.

In the mid-20th century, before neurodivergence in adults was understood or recognized, psychologists began defining mental disorders that required treatment. Many neurodivergents, completely unaware that their brains were different, were unjustly labeled as "disordered" or "broken." These labels disempowered neurodivergents and treatments that didn't recognize brain differences offered little relevant support.

The high prevalence of autism in children was discovered in the early years of the 21st century. Today, we are finally recognizing multiple neurodivergencies in adulthood. These adults aren't "broken." They don't need "treatment" for "disorders." They need to understand the nuances of brain differences and have access to resources that will help them leverage their strengths and build skills to address their challenges.

The R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse programs offer solutions: solutions that work.

R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse

Resources & Education Across the Lifespan

HOW:

The R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse program leverages Anne MacMillan's comprehensive Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory and offers an easy-to-follow 10-step educational approach, punctuated by assessments and resources that support individuals in building skills and taking actions to improve quality of life and increase happiness.

All programming is conveniently housed in the UnitusTI cloud-based platform, offering clinics an easy way to manage training, credentialing, and data collection and storage.

Neurodiverse family members are confused as to why their different brains are eliciting so much relationship conflict and trauma. MacMillan provides answers that work. She defines empathy differences, Neurodiverse Relationship Dynamics (NRD), and explains how trauma happens in neurodiverse families. She offers descriptions of 14 roles common to neurodiverse families, as well as resources to help individuals sort through the functions those roles play in their own lives and their family systems. She explains 5 cycles common to neurodiverse family systems and their associations with trauma and abuse. Finally, MacMillan shares her two complementary models of psychosocial development, one for autistics and one for non-autistics.

The R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach builds on the research and theories of giants like Vittorio Gallese, Erik Erickson, Diana Baumrind, Jean Piaget, and Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi. Learners can follow links to multiple relevant research articles throughout the programming.

About Anne MacMillan:

I built my original Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory on my education, personal life experience, and the professional experience I gained in the private neurodiverse services practice I founded in 2017.

Today, my services extend to support other professionals who have come to the new realization that neurodiversity is at the heart of many of the relationship challenges their adult clients face. Professionals can earn my Neurodiverse Family Systems Educator Credential (NFS-E) then use my practical 10-Step educational system, including quantitative assessments and support resources, to help their clients comprehend their relationship challenges and find the happiness and peace they deserve.

I have a research-based master's in psychology from Harvard University and studied developmental psychology as an undergrad. I received the Director's Thesis Award at Harvard for my original research on Level 1 autism and intimate life partnerships -- some of the first quantitative research on the subject in the world.

Altogether, I have over 50 years of personal life experience with neurodiverse family systems, over 20 years of personal life experience with neurodiverse intimate life partnerships, and 8 years of professional experience working with individuals managing the challenges of neurodiverse family systems.

I self-identify as a high body empathetic neurodivergent who just might also be a bit attention neurodivergent (ADHD). I am not autistic.

Anne MacMillan, MLA

Author of the R.E.A.L. 10-Step Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach, Speaker, Researcher, Consultant, Coach, Educator and Expert Witness

Recent Blog Posts

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Level 1 Autistic Adults in Our Families and Communities: Unseen Challenges and Neurodiverse Communication

August 19, 20245 min read

Autism is a natural neurological variation that affects communication and socializing. Level 1 autism is characterized by its subtler manifestations. Many trained professionals have difficulties recognizing it in adults due, in part, to the reality that many Level 1 autistic adults have developed effective compensatory strategies, helping them to manage the difficulties they face socializing with non-autistics.

Level 1 autism also requires less support than Levels 2 and 3 autism and professionals tend to prioritize to supporting Level 1 autistic children over Level 1 autistic adults. Level 1 autism is also much more apparent in children and many adults remain undiagnosed leading to a situation in which Level 1 autistic adults are integrated into our families and communities with relatively little societal or professional awareness of their presence or neurological differences.

The Journey from Childhood to Adulthood with Level 1 Autism

Children with Level 1 autism often struggle with social cues, making their condition more noticeable during early development. These children may find it difficult to engage in typical social interactions, leading to challenges in forming friendships and understanding social norms. However, as they grow older, many autistic individuals develop strategies to cope with and mask their social difficulties.

One key strategy is the use of declarative memory—the ability to recall facts and details. Autistic individuals often rely on their declarative memory to memorize social rules and patterns through a process of trial and error. When a particular behavior or response leads to social success, they are likely to repeat it, gradually building a repertoire of socially acceptable behaviors. Over time, this learned behavior can make their autism less apparent, allowing them to blend into the social world more seamlessly.

However, this adaptation does not change the fundamental differences in how their brains process social information. While these individuals may appear socially adept, they often continue to experience significant internal challenges, including anxiety, exhaustion, and confusion, as they work to navigate a world that inherently operates differently from their natural inclinations.

The Underdiagnosis of Level 1 Autism in Adults

A significant number of adults with Level 1 autism were never diagnosed as children, particularly those born before the 21st century when awareness and understanding of autism were far less developed. These individuals grew up in a world that largely did not recognize their neurological differences, leaving them to develop coping mechanisms on their own. As a result, many of these adults have gone "under the radar," living their lives without a formal diagnosis or understanding of their neurological variation.

This lack of recognition is not only a missed opportunity for support but also contributes to ongoing challenges in communication and social interactions. Without the framework of an autism diagnosis, these individuals—and those around them—may not fully understand the source of their social difficulties. This can lead to frustration, misunderstandings, and strained relationships in both personal and professional settings.

The Impact of Neurodiverse Miscommunications

The differences in how autistic and non-autistic brains perceive and process social information can lead to frequent miscommunications. These miscommunications occur across all areas of life—online, offline, in the workplace, and within families. Autistic individuals may struggle to interpret the non-verbal cues, tone of voice, or implied meanings that non-autistic individuals are using to communicate with each other and that they attempt to use to communicate with autistics, not knowing that the autistics aren't interpreting their cues in the same ways the non-autistics mean them. Non-autistic individuals may also misinterpret autistics' differences voice inflection, facial expressions and body language as rudeness or dismissal, while the autistics have no intention to communicate such messages. Autistics' more direct communication style, literal thinking, or unique perspectives can amplify the non-autistic sense that Level 1 autistics are rude, disinterested, or lack understanding.

These misunderstandings are compounded by the fact that most people do not assume that someone else’s brain might work fundamentally differently from their own. Because Level 1 autism is often "invisible" in adults, these individuals may be perceived as quirky, introverted, or socially awkward rather than recognized as neurodivergent. This lack of awareness on both sides can lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, and conflict.

Recognizing and Supporting Neurodiverse Individuals

Given the prevalence of undiagnosed Level 1 autism in adults, it is crucial to foster a greater awareness and understanding of neurodiversity in our communities. Recognizing that not everyone processes social information in the same way is the first step toward reducing the frequency and impact of neurodiverse miscommunications.

For non-autistic individuals, this means being mindful of the different ways people communicate and interact. It involves being patient, asking clarifying questions, and avoiding assumptions about someone’s intentions or abilities based on their social behavior. For autistic individuals, receiving a diagnosis later in life can be a powerful tool for self-understanding and acceptance, as well as for seeking appropriate support and accommodations.

In the workplace, educational settings, and social environments, creating spaces that are inclusive and accommodating of neurodiverse needs can help bridge the communication gap between autistic and non-autistic individuals. This includes providing clear, direct communication, offering written instructions or reminders, and fostering an environment where all communication styles are respected and valued.

Conclusion

Level 1 autism in adults presents unique challenges that often go unrecognized due to the subtleties of the neurological variation. While many individuals have developed sophisticated compensatory strategies to navigate the social world, the fundamental neurological differences between autistic and non-autistic individuals remain. These differences can lead to frequent and sometimes significant miscommunications, affecting relationships and well-being.

By increasing awareness and understanding of Level 1 autism and the diverse ways in which it can manifest, we can create more inclusive and supportive environments for all individuals. Recognizing and respecting neurodiversity not only helps reduce miscommunications but also enriches our communities by valuing the unique perspectives and contributions of every individual.


Support for Professionals and Clients:

Neurodiverse Credentialing and Practice Support for Psychologists, Therapists, Social Workers, Clergy, and Domestic Violence workers is available here.

Autistic and non-autistic members of neurodiverse family systems can reach out for support here.

blog author image

Anne MacMillan, MLA

Anne MacMillan, MLA is the founder of R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse 10-Step Family Systems Approach, designed to support Level 1 autistic adults and their neurodivergent and neurotypical family members as they come to understand what makes them different, work to improve their relationships, and take action to improve their lives. MacMillan has over 50 years of personal life experience with neurodiverse family systems, over 20 years of personal life experience in a neurodiverse intimate life partnership, and has been professionally supporting autistics and non-autistic adults in neurodiverse close family relationships since 2017. She has a master's in psychology from Harvard University where she did some of the world's first quantitative research on autism and intimate life partnerships. She self-identifies as a high body empathetic, or a non-autistic neurodivergent with a high level of body empathy.

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Anne MacMillan, MLA

Author of the R.E.A.L. 10-Step Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach Available on the UnitusTI Cloud

About MacMillan's Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory

Autistics and non-autistics perceive and navigate the social world differently. These differences create a phenomenon I term 'Neurodiverse Relationship Dynamics' (NRD).

Due to differences in neurological functioning, and at no fault of any family member, NRD contribute to perpetual cycles punctuated by emotional explosions called 'intermittent trauma spikes.'

Autistics and non-autistics also experience empathy differently, with autistics experiencing 'emotion-sharing empathy' and non-autistics experiencing 'body empathy.' Empathy differences as well as different levels of 'empathic-emotion intensity' and 'emotion-origin awareness' can contribute to the trauma experienced during intermittent trauma spikes.

Both non-autistics and autistics can engage in harmful narcissistic behaviors within neurodiverse family systems. Increasing awareness of NRD can support all family members in reducing the level of narcissistic behaviors and in responding to them appropriately.

Neurodiverse families are commonly made up of three primary types of neurodivergents: autistics, attention neurodivergents (ADHD), and high body empathetics. And, of course, sometimes other neurodivergents and true neurotypicals crop up in neurodiverse families as well. All members of neurodiverse families need and deserve support regardless of neurology.

The tendency for individuals to select intimate life partners that are familiar to them alongside the fact that neurodiversity has a genetic component means that individuals from neurodiverse families commonly have children with other individuals from neurodiverse families, passing neurodiversity from generation to generation and creating the phenomenon of neurotribes.

Individuals in neurodiverse families commonly take upon themselves particular roles associated with both individual and systemic functions within their neurodiverse family systems. These roles are facilitated by the different neurologies and are more intractable than roles in neurotypical families. Gaining awareness of the roles and their functions can support individuals in neurodiverse family systems as they make sense of the relationship confusion they are experiencing and then make decisions and take actions to improve their lives.

Most professional services are designed with neurotypicals from neurotypical families in mind, abandoning neurodivergents from neurodiverse families to inadequate supports that tend to be irrelevant to their actual family experience and the relationship challenges they face in their daily lives.

I believe the first step to overcoming all this confusion is to have a foundational understanding of empathy differences, Neurodiverse Relationship Dynamics (NRD), and the manner in which trauma and multigenerational behavioral patterns (facilitated by neurodiversity) affect neurodivergents within neurodiverse family systems.

My original Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory and my 10-Step Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach seek to fill this gap and to provide professionals and members of neurodiverse families the information they need so all individuals from neurodiverse families can find the happiness and peace they deserve.

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