to support neurodivergents and their families throughout adulthood.
Anne MacMillan's cutting-edge R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory synthesizes research from renowned neuroscientists, psychologists, and developmental theorists into a practical 10-step approach that recognizes the wholeness of all neurodivergents. Our program provides the education, assessments, and resources necessary for your clients to take action, build skills, face challenges, and make informed decisions that promote happiness and connection. Level 1 autism in adults significantly impacts social relationships, and close family relationships and intimate life partnerships are among the most intense and important of all social relationships in life.
Today, more than ever before, neurodivergents and their family members are discovering their own neurodiversity and are seeking professional support so they can find the happiness they deserve. Over the last few decades, awareness of Level 1 autism in children exploded. Only now is the world coming to an awareness of the prevalence of Level 1 autism in adults. R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse supports adults.
Everything you need to support your clients is packaged together conveniently on the UnitusTI cloud-based platform: training, credentialing, client programming, quantitative assessments, support resources and more.
Our comprehensive 10-step method is designed for use by psychologists, therapists, social workers, counselors, teachers, coaches, consultants, clergy, domestic violence workers, victim advocates and more.
Our credential will be awarded to individuals who have at least one of the following:
A minimum of a bachelor's degree from an accredited institution in a related field: psychology, social work, education, special education, human development, family studies, divinity, domestic violence, etc.
A post-baccalaureate or post-master's certificate from an accredited institution in a related field.
A minimum of a bachelor's degree in an unrelated field from an accredited institution AND at least 10 years of personal life experience with Level 1 autism in adulthood, either as an autistic or as a close family member or intimate life partner of an autistic. (10+ years of close friendship with Level 1 autistic adults is insufficient to meet this requirement.)
Neurodiverse families are commonly made up of autistic, attention neurodivergent (ADHD), and other neurodivergent family members. The different brains' different ways of perceiving and navigating the social world affect family social interactions, eliciting difficulties and distress that commonly lead to trauma and isolation.
In the mid-20th century, before neurodivergence in adults was understood or recognized, psychologists began defining mental disorders that required treatment. Many neurodivergents, completely unaware that their brains were different, were unjustly labeled as "disordered" or "broken." These labels disempowered neurodivergents and treatments that didn't recognize brain differences offered little relevant support.
The high prevalence of autism in children was discovered in the early years of the 21st century. Today, we are finally recognizing multiple neurodivergencies in adulthood. These adults aren't "broken." They don't need "treatment" for "disorders." They need to understand the nuances of brain differences and have access to resources that will help them leverage their strengths and build skills to address their challenges.
The R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse programs offer solutions: solutions that work.
The R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse program leverages Anne MacMillan's comprehensive Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory and offers an easy-to-follow 10-step educational approach, punctuated by assessments and resources that support individuals in building skills and taking actions to improve quality of life and increase happiness.
All programming is conveniently housed in the UnitusTI cloud-based platform, offering clinics an easy way to manage training, credentialing, and data collection and storage.
Neurodiverse family members are confused as to why their different brains are eliciting so much relationship conflict and trauma. MacMillan provides answers that work. She defines empathy differences, Neurodiverse Relationship Dynamics (NRD), and explains how trauma happens in neurodiverse families. She offers descriptions of 14 roles common to neurodiverse families, as well as resources to help individuals sort through the functions those roles play in their own lives and their family systems. She explains 5 cycles common to neurodiverse family systems and their associations with trauma and abuse. Finally, MacMillan shares her two complementary models of psychosocial development, one for autistics and one for non-autistics.
The R.E.A.L. Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach builds on the research and theories of giants like Vittorio Gallese, Erik Erickson, Diana Baumrind, Jean Piaget, and Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi. Learners can follow links to multiple relevant research articles throughout the programming.
I built my original Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory on my education, personal life experience, and the professional experience I gained in the private neurodiverse services practice I founded in 2017.
Today, my services extend to support other professionals who have come to the new realization that neurodiversity is at the heart of many of the relationship challenges their adult clients face. Professionals can earn my Neurodiverse Family Systems Educator Credential (NFS-E) then use my practical 10-Step educational system, including quantitative assessments and support resources, to help their clients comprehend their relationship challenges and find the happiness and peace they deserve.
I have a research-based master's in psychology from Harvard University and studied developmental psychology as an undergrad. I received the Director's Thesis Award at Harvard for my original research on Level 1 autism and intimate life partnerships -- some of the first quantitative research on the subject in the world.
Altogether, I have over 50 years of personal life experience with neurodiverse family systems, over 20 years of personal life experience with neurodiverse intimate life partnerships, and 8 years of professional experience working with individuals managing the challenges of neurodiverse family systems.
I self-identify as a high body empathetic neurodivergent who just might also be a bit attention neurodivergent (ADHD). I am not autistic.
The landscape of autism diagnosis has shifted dramatically since the 1990s, leading to a significant increase in the identification of autistic individuals, particularly among children. However, this diagnostic wave largely bypassed those born before this period, leaving a generation of autistic adults undiagnosed and struggling to navigate a world that often misunderstood them. Today, many of these individuals, now adults, are beginning to recognize their place on the autism spectrum, prompting a crucial reevaluation of their life experiences and mental health challenges.
Before the 1990s, the criteria for diagnosing autism were narrow and often limited to more overt and severe presentations of the condition. As a result, many individuals with milder or less obvious symptoms were overlooked. This began to change in the 1990s when the professional community broadened its understanding of autism, leading to a significant increase in diagnoses, particularly among children. These children, diagnosed in the 1990s, 2000s, and 2010s, have since grown into adults who understand their neurological differences and actively engage in spreading awareness about autism.
For those born before this diagnostic expansion, the story is quite different. Many of these individuals, who constitute what is often referred to as the "lost generation," have spent their lives without the benefit of understanding their autistic identity. As children, they were frequently misdiagnosed with various mental health conditions, such as bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, eating disorders, and even schizophrenia. While some of these diagnoses may have captured aspects of their experience, they often missed the underlying reality of autism.
As awareness of autism has grown, these undiagnosed adults have started to piece together their experiences and recognize the signs of autism in themselves. The internet has played a pivotal role in this process, providing a wealth of information and a platform for autistic adults to share their stories. This has led many to seek professional evaluation, often after a lifetime of receiving treatments and resources that didn’t fully address their needs.
However, the journey to an accurate diagnosis can be challenging. The professional community is still catching up with the nuances of adult autism, particularly in those who have spent decades developing coping mechanisms that mask their symptoms. These individuals often present with a complex clinical picture, sometimes leading to diagnoses of co-occurring conditions like anxiety or depression, which, while accurate, may not tell the whole story.
Accurate diagnosis is more than just a label; it is a key to understanding oneself and accessing appropriate support. For many in the lost generation, a correct autism diagnosis can bring immense relief, providing a framework for understanding their life experiences and the challenges they have faced. It can also lead to more effective treatment strategies, particularly for co-occurring conditions like anxiety or eating disorders that may be intertwined with their autism.
Moreover, recognizing autism in these individuals can help tailor interventions that address the root of their difficulties, potentially alleviating years of unnecessary suffering. For instance, understanding the sensory sensitivities or social communication differences inherent in autism can lead to more personalized and effective therapeutic approaches.
As more of the lost generation comes forward, it is crucial for the professional community to continue expanding its understanding of adult autism. This includes recognizing the diversity of autistic experiences and the ways in which autism can manifest differently across the lifespan. The acknowledgment of subtypes, such as ASD-P (ASD with a propensity for psychosis), highlights the need for ongoing research to refine diagnostic criteria and treatment approaches.
In conclusion, the growing recognition of undiagnosed autistic adults marks a significant moment in the field of neurodiversity. It underscores the importance of accurate diagnosis, not only for the individual's well-being but also for the broader understanding of autism. As the professional community continues to evolve, it is essential to ensure that all autistic individuals, regardless of when they were born, have access to the support and resources they need to thrive.
Support for Professionals and Clients:
Neurodiverse Credentialing and Practice Support for Psychologists, Therapists, Social Workers, Clergy, and Domestic Violence workers is available here.
Autistic and non-autistic members of neurodiverse family systems can reach out for support here.
Resources for Further Exploration:
Read Anne MacMillan's 2025 book entitled Neurodiverse Family Systems: Theory and Practice, available for pre-order.
View Anne MacMillan's 2019 YouTube video entitled "Autistic Adults who aren't Diagnosed."
Read the pdf of a 2015 review article entitled "How and Why is Autism Spectrum Disorder Misdiagnosed in Adult Patients? From Diagnostic Problem to Management for Adjustment" by K. Takara, T. Kondo, and T. Kuba originally published in Mental Health and Family Medicine, 11:73-88, doi:10.25149/1756-8358.1102011
Read the 2017 ASD-P (ASD with a vulnerability for psychosis) research by Felicity V. Larsen et al. "Psychosis in Autism: Comparison of the Features of Both Conditions in a Dually Affected Cohort" as published by the British Journal of Psychiatry, 210(4):269-275, doi:10.1192/bjp.bp.116.187682. Other authors: Adam P. Wagner, Peter B. Jones, Digby Tantam, Meng-Chuan Lai, Simon Baron-Cohen, and Anthony J. Holland.
Autistics and non-autistics perceive and navigate the social world differently. These differences create a phenomenon I term 'Neurodiverse Relationship Dynamics' (NRD).
Due to differences in neurological functioning, and at no fault of any family member, NRD contribute to perpetual cycles punctuated by emotional explosions called 'intermittent trauma spikes.'
Autistics and non-autistics also experience empathy differently, with autistics experiencing 'emotion-sharing empathy' and non-autistics experiencing 'body empathy.' Empathy differences as well as different levels of 'empathic-emotion intensity' and 'emotion-origin awareness' can contribute to the trauma experienced during intermittent trauma spikes.
Both non-autistics and autistics can engage in harmful narcissistic behaviors within neurodiverse family systems. Increasing awareness of NRD can support all family members in reducing the level of narcissistic behaviors and in responding to them appropriately.
Neurodiverse families are commonly made up of three primary types of neurodivergents: autistics, attention neurodivergents (ADHD), and high body empathetics. And, of course, sometimes other neurodivergents and true neurotypicals crop up in neurodiverse families as well. All members of neurodiverse families need and deserve support regardless of neurology.
The tendency for individuals to select intimate life partners that are familiar to them alongside the fact that neurodiversity has a genetic component means that individuals from neurodiverse families commonly have children with other individuals from neurodiverse families, passing neurodiversity from generation to generation and creating the phenomenon of neurotribes.
Individuals in neurodiverse families commonly take upon themselves particular roles associated with both individual and systemic functions within their neurodiverse family systems. These roles are facilitated by the different neurologies and are more intractable than roles in neurotypical families. Gaining awareness of the roles and their functions can support individuals in neurodiverse family systems as they make sense of the relationship confusion they are experiencing and then make decisions and take actions to improve their lives.
Most professional services are designed with neurotypicals from neurotypical families in mind, abandoning neurodivergents from neurodiverse families to inadequate supports that tend to be irrelevant to their actual family experience and the relationship challenges they face in their daily lives.
I believe the first step to overcoming all this confusion is to have a foundational understanding of empathy differences, Neurodiverse Relationship Dynamics (NRD), and the manner in which trauma and multigenerational behavioral patterns (facilitated by neurodiversity) affect neurodivergents within neurodiverse family systems.
My original Neurodiverse Family Systems Theory and my 10-Step Neurodiverse Family Systems Approach seek to fill this gap and to provide professionals and members of neurodiverse families the information they need so all individuals from neurodiverse families can find the happiness and peace they deserve.
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anne@REALneurodiverse.com
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